i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
