Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
