I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
