EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
