She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
