i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
third nipple confirmed
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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