Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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