Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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