i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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