I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
