Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
