Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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