And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
