My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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