you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
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