We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He shit in the fireplace
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
