Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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