carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
