i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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