yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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