I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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