I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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