after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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