do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
