umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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