I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
