dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
