I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
