Im at strip club and am horny
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
