she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
