I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
