I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize