Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
