The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
