If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
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