recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
