Only a mothe r could love this liver
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
