grandma shit on top of the toilet
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
