How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize