Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
