dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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