i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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