It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
should my penis look like a turkey
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
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