I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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