I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
