i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
