Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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