come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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