Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Who died my cat blue again?
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