those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize