Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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