So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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