Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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