i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
