in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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